CHOICES Short Essay 2 of 4

CHOICES

by Norm Lowry

Will what I am choosing draw me closer to or push me further from the people I need? — William Glasser

Largely, our society exists by imposing its will on others via external control psychology, a belief that the superior individual or leadership body can impose its will on another.  The fault in its nature is that no one can be forced to submit, even under threat or torture, unless they choose to do so.

My life exists by imposing my will on no one, as I choose to direct my life via internal control psychology, a belief that only and needfully accepts that I, alone, can directly control all I  think and do and indirectly control all my feelings and physiology.  Thus, my life is lived according to my choices and sense of personal responsibility.

In order to accept and achieve healthy and mature balance in taking responsibility for our choices, we must consider both urgency and rewards.  Urgency by definition regards “impelling force, influence and /or impulse” and makes way for choices “demanding immediate attention.”  Likewise, rewards regard “yielding of benefits or a sense of satisfaction” (Webster’s).  To give proper weight to my choices, I daily engage in self-evaluation, by asking myself: (1) What did I choose to do?, (2) What was I thinking?, (3) How did my choice affect me?, (4) What effect did my choice have on others?, (5) Did my choice draw me closer to or push me further from the people I need?, and (6) What changes, if any, am I willing to make?

Because I know who I am at a deep level, my choice making is a matter I take most seriously.  My choices are based in my purposefully quantified and time-tested list of my life’s basic needs.  Overarching them all is my life’s basis—my need for, and intimacy with, our Creator—a real person I’ve known for 57+ of my 63 years.  From 1-5 and rated on a scale of 1-10, my basic needs are:  1) Freedom (10)—All about wonder with God, humanity and creation, based in absolute nonviolence—an actual state of being untangled from violence, 2) Love and belonging (9)—all about deep communion; intimacy in community, 3) Fun (9)— Most highly about learning and teaching though there are lesser funs, 4) Power and control (8)—All about servanthood, 5) Survival (7)—Relative, as its importance lies in actual and honest thriving.  

Also because I know who I am at a deep level, I’m living my best life, today!  I’m at peace, content and reasonably happy.  In six months, I’ll be 64.  Both 64 and 65 are scheduled to occur like my last seven birthdays, in prison.  But don’t cry for me.  Out of a sense of grave urgency, I made some nonviolent choices to live out my faith, by standing in the way of our society’s extreme love of violence, racism, bigotry and poverty-production.  My rewards—I have a clean conscience and I get to love 2000+ of the most wonderful, yet irregular people our society and its churches ever tried to throw away.  I throw no one away!  I love them, warts and all.  This is my choice….

Note:  The essence of the contrast between “external” and “internal” control psychology is derived from Dr. William Glasser’s “choice therapy/reality therapy,” my chosen counseling theory and practicum.  

8/24/16